Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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