Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
wanna go halves on a baby?
good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Randomize