I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
