covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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