I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
My balls are so social today.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Randomize
