i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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