If you die in college, do you die in real life?
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
