Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
