I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
