I wish life had little blips of pornography
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
