Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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