I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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