thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Two words: nipple clamps
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