drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
