yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
