I'm having a debate with **** over whether or not he is gay... what's your verdict?
GAY or at the very least bisexual.
His "joking around" with all of his roommates is clearly as act. He needs to step back and reevaluate his sexual orientation.
Weird... you've rode him.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
