i just google imaged poop.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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