the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
North Korea, Best Korea!
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
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