hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
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