I got chris browned last night
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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