OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
