I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
