it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize