yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
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