ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We had sex on a dog bed..
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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