Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Randomize
