Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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