Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
She just texted me saying, "I wish you were a better person so I could fuck you without regrets"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
