At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
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