420 ftw
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
wow bdsm is so cute
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