can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
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