you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
