Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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