You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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