You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
