what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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