i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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