yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Randomize
