The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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