hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
