I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
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