i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
