hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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