you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
