i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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