They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
Randomize
