your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
