so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
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