Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
