Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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