What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
