let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
