youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
