He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
