I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
