she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
