i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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