I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
She's the barista slut.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Randomize
