But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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