My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
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