During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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