Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
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