I*** M*****, this is your dignity texting you. I ditched you when you started hitting on bros and old sailor men last night. My friend Sarah has pictures to prove it.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
She's not a foreskin expert like you
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
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