Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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