the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
