Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Randomize
