Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
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I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
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I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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