this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
