I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Randomize
