I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
